Cigarette Mistress

The silent gravity of another night falls on my shoulders tonight

Heavy once more

Making me breathe harder

My heart is getting too weak for this

Need to take a break

I take out one of my mistresses

Take her out of the coffin

Light her up

Breathe her in

My pulse falls asleep slowly

 How sweetly she calms me 

Gently...without a sound...

As the smoke exits my mouth

I can't help but imagine you

Those figures

They take me back

To the dark times

When you used to gamble with the gods

How afraid of you they were...

They would lose kingdoms and powers over bets

You won them all

With both your skills and beauty

Godesses used to envy you

'Paradise poison'...they used to call you

The fallen one

The rotten one

Paradise's brightest creation

Hell's proudest plan

As the smoke fades away

My eyes start to darken

I remember now

This is not a vision of you

This IS you!

At night i find myself bleeding

It's ok..

I'll be fine...

I wait...bleed out..

It happens every night

I'm used to it

I do this to myself

It's the only way to get the poison out

I have to bleed it out

Yet there's always enough of it left in me

Enough to get me sick again tomorrow

Nothing seems right anymore

I have no thirst for water

No hunger for food

Just one craving

A cancerous habit that i can't give up

Maybe i don't want to

When the night falls;It's then when the craving kicks in

My nocturnal mistress is calling out my name

I light her up again

Only to see you again

Crippled as i am,I lie frozen

Breathing you in

Feeling you tainting my insides

You take away my life

..it's ok though

I got to see you

The night feels lighter now

Like me

21 gramms lighter

I sold my soul again tonight

Morbid angel...it's you that takes me by the hand every night

Drag me to hell

It's warm there.I'm not scared

Not afraid.

Fear comes when the cigarette is gone and i know that tomorrow i'll wake up...

...broken-hearted,alone and crippled in a big empty cold room....

...with no cigarettes left.